Should I hire my contractor friend to remodel my house?
It’s an idea many of us toy with—hiring a friend to take on a remodeling project. You trust them, they know your style, and there’s that unspoken hope they’ll “hook you up” with a better price or faster service. It sounds like a win-win, right?
But then you start to wonder—what if something goes wrong? Could it ruin the relationship?
Remodeling is a big deal. It requires time, money, and, often, patience. The real question you need to ask yourself is: Do you want to mix those high stakes with a personal relationship? Because when things get tough—and they almost always do in remodeling—it could affect your friendship in ways you didn’t expect.
So, before you jump in, let’s take a moment to weigh the risks and rewards of mixing business with friendship—so you can decide if hiring a friend makes sense for you.
What are the risks of hiring a friend for home renovations?
When hiring a friend, the lines between personal and professional can get blurry—fast. They might treat your project as a favor, assuming deadlines don’t matter as much because you’re friends. You, on the other hand, might feel uncomfortable asking them to speed things up or fix something that isn’t quite right.
Lewis (name changed to protect his identity), one of our clients, learned this the hard way. He hired a close friend, who was a contractor, to remodel his bathroom. What should have been a four-week project turned into an eight-month ordeal because his friend didn’t prioritize the job. By the time it was finished, Lewis was happy with the results, but the strain on their friendship was undeniable. It was enough to make him swear off mixing friendship and remodeling ever again!
The next time Lewis needed a remodel, he called us at Rothrock Kitchen & Bath—he didn’t want to risk going through that kind of headache again. We’ll dig into the full story of Lewis’s experience at the end of this article.
Can hiring a friend for a remodel ruin our relationship?
There’s no sugarcoating this one—yes, it can. Renovations are stressful. Add a friendship into the mix, and things can get complicated fast. If deadlines slip, the budget goes over, or the quality doesn’t meet your expectations, that frustration can easily spill over into your personal relationship. And the stakes feel even higher because, let’s face it, it’s not just a business transaction—you’re dealing with someone you care about.
Should I expect a discount if I hire a friend for remodeling work?
This is where it gets tricky. Many people assume that hiring a friend means getting a deal—but that can lead to unexpected consequences. It may seem like contractors are making a ton of money in this market, but the reality is, most are running on razor-thin margins. If your friend offers you a significant discount, they’re likely taking food off their own table. This could cause them to prioritize paying clients over you. After all, remodeling is how they pay their bills. If they’re not earning enough from your project, it’s only natural that other jobs may take precedence.
Instead of expecting a discount, have a candid conversation upfront. Make sure you’re both on the same page about pricing, timelines, and expectations. This will help everything go smoothly and avoid any awkwardness later on.
How do I protect our relationship if I hire my friend for a remodel?
The key to preserving your friendship is to treat the remodeling project as a professional job—right from the start. That means setting clear boundaries, open communication, and putting everything in writing.
Maggie (name also changed), one of our friends, hired us to remodel her kitchen and bathroom while hiring another friend for some other projects in her home. We treated her project like we would for any client, providing a clear contract, a defined payment schedule, and prioritizing her work, showing up every day until it was finished.
Meanwhile, her experience with her other friend didn’t provide the same level of structure. There was no contract, no payment schedule, and no sense of accountability. This left her feeling frustrated and uncertain about the project’s progress.
By treating the arrangement like a business transaction, with professional expectations on both sides, like we did with Maggie, you’ll protect the relationship and ensure the project stays on track.
For the full story of Maggie’s experience, be sure to check out the end of this article.
What happens if I’m unhappy with the work my friend does on my remodel?
This can be a tough one to navigate. When you’re unhappy with a contractor’s work, it’s important to address it immediately. But when that contractor is also your friend, it’s easy to hesitate. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, and it might feel like you’re walking on eggshells. The truth is, avoiding the conversation will only make things worse.
The best approach is to talk about your concerns early and respectfully. Keep it professional and focus on the issues at hand—whether it’s quality, timing, or communication. This way, you’re giving them a chance to fix the problem before it becomes a bigger issue, and you’re maintaining the integrity of both the project and your relationship.
How do I handle disagreements if my friend is the contractor on my home project?
Disagreements are bound to happen during a remodel—it’s almost inevitable. If you and your friend don’t see eye to eye on something, it’s crucial to handle it just like you would with any other contractor. Approach the issue calmly, and make sure you’re both working from the same set of expectations. This is where having a contract can save you a lot of headaches. A contract provides a reference point for settling disputes and ensures you’re both on the same page.
Should I get a formal contract if I hire a friend to remodel my house?
Yes. Even though it might feel strange to ask a friend to sign a contract, it’s the smartest way to protect your relationship. A formal contract outlines everything—from the scope of work and payment schedule to timelines and materials. Think of it as a way to avoid misunderstandings. In the end, it’s not about being overly formal—it’s about clarity. And clarity is your best defense against assumptions and miscommunication, which are the quickest ways to derail both the project and the friendship.
How can I ensure quality work when hiring a friend for my home renovation?
One of the most common mistakes people make when hiring a friend for a remodel is assuming that their friend’s skills apply to all areas of construction. Just because your friend works in the industry doesn’t mean they’re the right person for your specific project. Construction is full of specialties—plumbers, electricians, masons, carpenters, tile setters—all with different skill sets.
For example, if your friend specializes in bathroom remodeling, they might be a fantastic choice for that kind of project. But if their expertise is in roofing, they may not be the best fit for installing a custom tile shower. You wouldn’t ask the secretary at a car dealership to replace your brakes, just because they work with cars, right? In the same way, hiring a friend who isn’t experienced in the specific type of work you need could lead to problems.
It’s important to have an open conversation about their strengths and whether those align with your renovation needs. The goal is to ensure the right person is doing the right job, not just someone you know.
How do I fire my friend if I’m not satisfied with their work in my home?
It’s never easy to consider firing a friend, but if their work isn’t meeting your expectations, it’s important to address the issues head-on. Remember, your home renovation is a significant investment, and you have every right to ensure the work is done correctly. If your friend isn’t delivering what was promised, or if delays and mistakes are piling up, it’s time to have an honest conversation.
Approach the situation with empathy, but be clear about your concerns. Give them the opportunity to fix the problems. If they can resolve the issues, great! If not, and the project continues to suffer, you may need to part ways.
While awkward, it’s often better to take action sooner rather than letting frustrations build up. By handling the situation professionally and respectfully, you can still protect your friendship—even if you need to hire someone else to complete the work.
Should I ask for a warranty if my friend does my remodeling project?
Yes, you should. Asking for a warranty is not about mistrust—it’s about ensuring that if something goes wrong with the workmanship after the project is complete, there’s a plan to fix it. Professional contractors typically offer a one-year warranty on their work, and this should apply even if your contractor happens to be a friend.
A warranty shows that your friend is confident in their work and willing to stand by it. It also gives you peace of mind, knowing that if there’s an issue with the work down the road, it will be addressed without you having to pay for additional repairs. Your friend’s professional reputation is still on the line, even if they’re working for you, so don’t hesitate to ask for that assurance.
What if my friend damages my home during the remodel—who is liable?
This is where it’s critical to treat the project like any other professional arrangement. Your friend, like any contractor, should have liability insurance to cover any accidents or damages that occur during the remodel. Before the project begins, make sure your friend’s insurance is up to date and that they have the proper coverage in place. If damage happens and they’re uninsured, you could be left paying out of pocket for repairs, which is a situation that no friendship should have to navigate.
If your friend does damage your home during the project, how they handle it will tell you a lot about their professionalism. A responsible contractor will immediately address the issue and make things right. If they hesitate or try to brush it off, that’s a red flag, even if they are a friend.
What should I include in a remodeling contract with a friend?
A contract might feel formal or unnecessary when working with a friend, but it’s vital to protect both parties from misunderstandings. The contract should include:
Scope of work: Clearly outline what’s included in the project. This ensures you’re both on the same page about what will be done.
Timeline: Establish start and end dates, as well as key milestones. This helps prevent the project from dragging on indefinitely.
Cost: Specify whether it’s a fixed-price or time & materials project. For fixed-price, list the total cost. For T&M, outline the hourly rate and how materials and markups will be charged.
Payment schedule: Agree on how and when payments will be made. A well-defined payment plan keeps everything running smoothly.
Materials: Specify who will supply the materials and what brands or products will be used.
Warranties: Outline any guarantees or warranties on the workmanship.
Change orders: Plan for how changes to the scope of work will be handled and what additional costs might be involved.
Putting these details in writing isn’t about mistrust—it’s about protecting your friendship from the potential pitfalls that often come with construction projects.
What should I do if my friend doesn’t finish my remodel on time?
If your friend is missing deadlines and the project starts to drag, it’s time for a conversation. Refer back to the agreed-upon timeline and ask what’s causing the delay. Are there unexpected challenges, or is your friend not prioritizing your project? Sometimes, when friends take on work, they may not treat it with the same urgency as their other jobs—after all, you’re friends, right?
But here’s the reality: you deserve to have your project completed in a timely manner, just like any other client. Be clear that the delays are impacting your life and that you need the project back on track. If they can’t commit to finishing on time, it might be time to explore other options, including hiring a new contractor.
Our Clients’ Experiences: Lessons from the Field
Many of our clients have hired friends for remodeling projects. Two of them especially, Lewis and Maggie, have stories that offer valuable insight into how things can play out—both the good and the bad.
Let’s start with Lewis.
Lewis hires a friend for a bathroom remodel
Lewis was excited about remodeling his bathroom. He’d known his friend for years—a great guy who worked in construction, someone he trusted completely. It seemed like a perfect arrangement: a trusted friend doing the work and no need to worry about dealing with a stranger. What could go wrong?
In the beginning, everything seemed fine. Lewis’s friend was eager to get started, and Lewis had full confidence that this was going to be a smooth project. But as the weeks passed, things started to unravel. Lewis’s friend was juggling multiple jobs, and since this project was for a friend, it started to slip down the priority list. What was supposed to be a four-week bathroom remodel quickly turned into two months. Then three. Then four.
Lewis and his family found themselves living in a house with an unusable bathroom for eight long months. And here’s the thing: Lewis couldn’t just call his friend and demand answers. It wasn’t that simple. The personal connection made it difficult to set boundaries or ask tough questions, like, “When will this actually be done?” or “Why aren’t you showing up to work this week?”
His friend came and went on his own schedule, sometimes disappearing for days or even weeks. Lewis never knew when the work would be finished, and that uncertainty weighed on him. His family was living in a construction zone with no end in sight. Sure, the workmanship was great when his friend was there—but the inconsistency and lack of communication took a toll.
By the time the project finally wrapped up, Lewis was happy with his new space, but the process had left a bitter taste. He felt helpless during those eight months, unable to push back or set firmer expectations without risking his friendship. In the end, Lewis realized that even though his friend meant well, the experience of working with him was frustrating and stressful. The next time Lewis needed work done, he called us—Rothrock Kitchen & Bath—because he didn’t want to go through that ordeal again.
Maggie’s experience hiring contractor friends
Maggie’s story starts similarly—she needed a remodel, and she had friends in the construction business. Unlike Lewis, she had a much bigger project on her hands: a kitchen remodel, a bathroom renovation, an addition, and a roof replacement. She decided to split the work between two friends: she hired us, Rothrock Kitchen & Bath (back when we were Rothrock Carpentry), to handle the kitchen and bathroom, and another friend to take care of the addition and roof.
Before we began, we had a heart-to-heart with Maggie. We made it clear that while we were friends, this was still a business arrangement. We told her, “When we’re on the clock, we’re your contractors first, not your friends.” It wasn’t easy to have that conversation, but it set the tone for the entire project. Maggie knew what to expect from us, and we knew what was expected from her.
From the beginning, we provided Maggie with a detailed contract, a payment schedule, and a clear timeline. We prioritized her project just like we would for any other client, and we showed up every day until the work was done. Throughout the project, we maintained professional boundaries during the workday, but after hours, we’d occasionally relax with her as friends—whether it was sharing a dinner or catching up over drinks. The key was that we never let the personal relationship interfere with our work.
Unfortunately, Maggie’s experience with her other friend wasn’t as smooth. She confided in us one evening about how frustrating the addition and roof work had become. Her friend wasn’t prioritizing the project, and worse, there was no formal contract or payment schedule in place. “I know I owe him money,” she told us, “but I have no idea how much. He keeps saying, ‘Don’t worry about it, we’ll settle up later,’ but I have a budget to manage!”
Maggie was left feeling completely in the dark. She didn’t know whether the project was on schedule or over budget. Without a formal agreement, she had no way of holding her friend accountable for the delays, and the lack of clarity made the whole experience incredibly stressful. As the project dragged on, she began to regret not treating that part of the remodel as professionally as she had with us.
By the end, Maggie thanked us multiple times for treating her like a client rather than just a friend. She appreciated how our professionalism made the process smooth and predictable, while the more informal arrangement with her other friend left her frustrated and anxious. It was a stark reminder of how important it is to set clear boundaries, even when you’re working with people you know well.
Lessons from Lewis’s and Maggie’s experiences
Lewis’s and Maggie’s experiences offer two sides of the same coin. While both started with the best intentions, the difference between a structured, professional approach and an informal, friend-based arrangement made all the difference. Lewis’s bathroom project dragged on far too long, leaving him frustrated with both the process and his friendship. Maggie, on the other hand, saw firsthand how the right approach can make all the difference in keeping a remodeling project on track—professionally and personally.
If you’re thinking of hiring a friend for your remodel, these stories serve as a reminder: Set clear boundaries, get everything in writing, and treat it like the business arrangement it is. It might just save both your project and your friendship.
Conclusion: Should you hire a friend for your project?
Hiring a friend for a remodel can work, but it requires clear communication, boundaries, and a professional approach. Treat the arrangement like you would with any other contractor—get a contract, set expectations, and don’t be afraid to hold your friend accountable. If you’d rather avoid the potential pitfalls altogether, working with a professional contractor might be the better choice.
Ready to take the next step? At Rothrock Kitchen & Bath, we specialize in taking the stress out of home remodeling projects in the New Hampshire seacoast. Contact us today, and let’s discuss how we can bring your vision to life while keeping your friendships intact!
